Five Years, Seriously?!

I've been doing this for five years?! And I still haven't finished a whole month of blogs? Well, maybe this year we will get through all the reviews. 

Anyway, I am pretty excited about this year as there are quite a few new releases I've been meaning to watch from the last few years and I intend to include most of them on the list. I have watched a few horror movies already this year (Shhhhh, it's our little secret) and may also include some of those as special features. Lately though, I've been thinking about changing up the categories a bit. Especially because we have lost a few greats in the world of horror this year (George A. Romero and Tobe Hopper among them) and I've been thinking of featuring more of their movies this year in honor but don't really want to try to "fit" them into some category. In all honesty, I am running out of zombie movies and there are only so many new schlocky ones I can take. If you have any suggestions, I am all ears. For now, same old categories below.

            Supernatural Sunday A day to fit ghosts, witches, vampires, and anything otherworldly 

            that doesn’t necessarily fall into any of the other categories.

            Zombday In a zombie apocalypse, these slow-shuffling, brain-loving undead take over the 

            world. In Horror-tober, they take over a day. BRAAAAAAINS!

            Transcontinental Tuesday Foreign films. Japan, Korea, Spain, even Canada – wherever 

            offers up a good old scary story for viewing pleasure.

            Wacky Wednesday The fun and lighthearted. The funny and dark. The campy. Or the 

            animated and weird. Just plain "wacky". 

            Throwback Thursday Those classics I love or new favorites I want to watch again.

            Creature-Feature Friday For all things monster and creepy-crawly. 

            Slasher Saturday Slashers, thrillers, home invasions, torture porn, body horror, et al.

Again, I did not finish last year’s posts. However, I kind of like doing these breakdowns of the ratings from the previous year now. It's nice to remind myself of all the great, OK, and terrible movies I subject myself to in the span of a single month. 
   

1 – Holidays – 2.5 skulls – Creepy vignettes about various holidays. Was mostly OK.

2 – We Are Still Here – 3 skulls – Good haunted house vibes and throwback to horror movies of the 70s.  

3 – Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse – 1.5 skulls – Just too juvenile for my tastes. 

4 – Onibaba – 4 skulls – Superb storytelling and cinematography in this classic.

5 – Extraordinary Tales – 3 skulls – Different Poe stories animated in varying styles. Was decent. 

6 – The Babadook – 4 skulls – Psychological horror and family drama. Creepy as hell and good for a rewatch. BABA DOOK DOOK DOOOOOOK! 

7 – Grizzly – 3.5 skulls – Ridiculous prehistoric grizzly bear attacks and hunky men of the 70s. Worth it.

8 – Hush – 4 skulls – Definitely my favorite of the new ones for 2016. A nice twist on home invasion thrillers and well worth the watch. 

9 – Supernatural Shorts:

Foxes – 3.5 skulls – I love foxes, but they definitely have a blood-curdling scream.

Don't Move – 4 skulls – Delightfully gory and kind of funny. 

Teddy Bears are for Lovers – 4 skulls – Also delightfully funny. 

Geist – 3.5 skulls – Animated ghost story that was kind of heartbreaking.
             Red Girl – 2.5 skulls – Really short, OK. 
             Daddy – 2 skulls – Don't remember too much but that it was OK.
             Abandoned – 2.5 skulls – I gave this one an extra .5 skull compared to Daddy because I                was not expecting the ending. Otherwise OK.
             Coffer – 3.5 skulls – From the same director of the Lights Out short from last year. Good,              but not as good. 
             The Wicked – 2.5 skulls – Liked the single frame shot throughout, but meh.
             The Pride of Strathmoor – 3 skulls – Animated, decent but fairly disturbing.    

10 – Maggie – 3 skulls – Arnold zombie drama. Not too bad.

11 – Witching and Bitching – 3.5 skulls – Raucous and ridiculous and loved it. 

12 – The Voices – 3 skulls – Ryan Reynolds shines as a weirdo hearing voices (his pets talk to him, but not really. Because voices).
The Neon Dead – 1.5 skulls – Was the one I had originally planned to watch this night but it was so bad I had to fast forward and then watched The Voices.

13 – 2001 Maniacs – 3 skulls – Robert Englund. Cannibalistic, redneck/hillbilly/confederate ghosts? Need I say more? 

14 – Hobgoblins – 1.5 skulls – Best scene was the band playing at the bar. Literally almost 6 minutes (I could be exaggerating) of just the band playing and people dancing. 

15 – Special 4 Movie Feature at Hollywood Theatre – 4 movies. 1 night. Friends. Beer. Coffee. Rad.
             Race with the Devil – 2.5 skulls – Peter Fonda. You can't escape the Satanists, no matter              how long or far you run (or drive)! It was OK, a bit weird and somewhat comical. 
             Psycho II – 4 skulls – The best of the night. A sequel made over 20 years after the                          original. Most definitely an "underrated sequel". Was fun and pretty dang good. 
             The Funhouse – 3.5 skulls – Maybe a lesser well known Tobe Hooper scare. The only of                the 4 I had previously seen and I still enjoyed it. 
             Burial Ground – 3 skulls – "Bat shit crazy Italian gutmuncher" is an appropriate descriptor              for this movie. This was insane. And being the last of the 4 made it even that much more                  insane (because watching it at around 4am after sitting through 3 other movies).    

16 – Ghost concert – After 4 movies in one night, took a break to see one of my favorite bands! 

17 – Southbound – 2.5 skulls – Another anthology film with the stories all tied together in some way. Really enjoyed a couple of the stories but overall was nothing to get that excited about. 

18 – The Psychic – 3.5 skulls – Watched based on recommendation from a friend. Was not disappointed. 

19 – He Never Died – 3.5 skulls – Henry Rollins. 'Nough said.

20 – Special Presentation of "new" Rocky Horror Picture Show on FOX – 1.5 skulls – I had to give it a shot but I just, I don't even know why I watched the whole thing. I do love Laverne Cox and even was happy to see Tim Curry stepping into the role of the Criminologist/Narrator. But it just, no. Bad. No more words for how much I did not like this.  

21 – The Corpse Grinders – 2 skulls – Cat food made with corpses! I fell asleep, tried to watch again and fell asleep again. Not worth it. 

22 – Open Grave – 2 skulls – I wanted to like it because I love Sharlto Copley but it just wasn't very good.   

23 – Stake Land – 3 skulls – Decent vampire fare. Saw recently that there is a sequel, might give that one a try this year. 

24 – Monsters – 3.5 skulls – A good science-fiction/monster flick. Some good subtle social commentary in it as well.     

25 – Baskin – 3.5 skulls – I still feel fucked up after watching this movie. I liked it, but damn. Just writing this snippet about it is fucking with me. And it really wasn't terribly more shocking than other movies I've watched, but it just got to me in a fucked up way.   

26 – Goosebumps – 2 skulls – As an avid Goosebumps reader in my younger days, I had to watch this. It was OK.   

27 – Poltergeist - 2.5 skulls – I try my darndest to give remakes a shot and some are actually decent (Rob Zombie's Halloween for one, honestly). But I just wasn't feeling this one.

28 – Stung - 3 skulls –The only note I have on this one is that I gave it 3 skulls because of the practical effects. Seriously, a good way to win me over is the use of practical effects. Especially for "newer" films to use practical effects over CGI (or a combination of the two). 

29 – We Are What We Are – 3.5 skulls – A cannibalistic family drama. Decent. 

30 – The Houses October Built – 2 skulls – Haunted houses, the kind you go to to be scared, that are a little more "serious". I liked the premise, but poor execution.

31 – Ghostbusters – 3.5 skulls – Despite what the critics and even die hard original Ghostbusters fans have said about this movie, I really liked this. I wouldn't go as far as saying it was better than the original, but honestly having four female leads, and three in scientific fields, was pretty dang great. Yay for progress, I guess, yay! I also just fucking LOVED Kate McKinnon as Holtzmann. (I admit I have an Abby Yates Funko Pop! toy on my desk at work but every time I look at it I wish it was Holtzmann. Shhhh, don't tell Abby).  

Welp that's it for last year's movies. We've got about a week until the feast-ivities begin. AGGGGGHHHH! I can't wait!    

Horror-tober 18: The Psychic

A woman has visions of a room and a woman being entombed in a wall. Compelled by the visions she breaks down the wall in her husband's abandoned estate. When she discovers a skeleton in the wall, her husband is accused of murdering a young model. But she does not believe he did it nor that the woman found in the wall is indeed that young model (her visions were of an older woman). So she works with her psychiatrist to find the real culprit, but when she gets too close to the truth will it be the end of her search and her life?

Discovering the skeleton in the wall.

After I last posted about We Are Still Here and blasphemously replied to a comment from a friend saying that I do not like Fulci's Zombi 2, he recommended this earlier Fulci film. And because it was easy to find through the Multnomah County Library's digital service Hoopla, I was able to watch it for this year.

I actually quite enjoyed this film. It was suspenseful and the plot was interesting. I particularly liked the close-up shots of Jennifer O'Neill's eyes when she was having her visions. She has some very beautiful green eyes.

Those eyes! Although not the best screen capture of them

The soundtrack was also really enjoyable and the cinematography was quite striking with some really interesting shots and lighting.

One of my favorite shots in the film.

My friend was right, this was definitely a good one and unlike Fulci's later horror movies with little gore and a particularly good mystery and terrific soundtrack.

Horror-tober 17: Southbound

Because I missed Supernatural Sunday with the Ghost concert and because I am kind of tired of zombie movies nowadays, I watched Southbound with Joey.

On a desolate stretch of highway, five people find themselves facing horrors and terrors straight out of hell, maybe.

This one actually came to me from a work friend so I figured I'd give it a shot. Another horror anthology for this year, but this one's stories interlock into one overarching story or theme of remorse and guilt. Although each tale had its own kind of horror element, none of them really stuck out to me as thrilling or particularly memorable, except one. The story of the man traveling home on this lone stretch of highway, hits a woman with his car and finds himself in a deserted hospital trying to help her survive while being coached by the 911 operators. This one was the most gruesome, but also the most interesting to me because it felt more real. Not really realistic but something that is particularly terrifying as a possibly real circumstance. It was bizarre and darkly funny and felt like the most cohesive story.

The creatures shown in the beginning and almost throughout the movie were a little confusing. Were they demons from hell? Were they a physical manifestation of guilt? Why do they attack the men? Why are they all tentacle-ally? One of those things where it showed them fleetingly at the very beginning and I liked it but the greater detail shown just made them hokey and mundane instead of scary. Otherwise, most of the stories were dull but had a pretty full offering of horror genres. From Satanic rituals, to home invasion. In that way it was a pretty good nod to the horror anthology.

SPOILERS: One thing with this movie, it seems like it is in loop. The beginning tale is revisited at the end where the film began, but it appears it is only supposed to have happened in one night. Which for some reason bugged me a little, but otherwise a pretty decent anthology.

Joey's rating:

My rating:

Horror-tober 16: No Movie, but Ghost in Concert!

So after watching 4 movies the night before, I did not watch a movie on Sunday the 16th. But for my birthday this year Joey not only got me Opus Eponymus on vinyl by Ghost, a Swedish metal band I am obsessed with, but he got tickets to the concert, which happened this evening.

Sort of in relation to the last post, when your husband knows you love cats and metal, you get this for your birthday! #papaemeritus

A photo posted by Mandy Klehr (@moogfasa) on Sep 23, 2016 at 6:20pm PDT

Every time they have come to Portland so far I have otherwise been engaged and unable to see them. So it was awesome to finally get to see them in concert. Formed in 2008, Ghost is a spectacle to be seen. Sort of a play on the Roman Catholic church, the anonymous lead singer ("the anti-Pope" named Papa Emeritus) wears papal-like robes but with an upside-down cross and makeup disguising his appearance. The rest of the band are also completely anonymous. Called "the Nameless Ghouls" each wears a cherub-like, devil mask with no mouth. Each also represent different symbols or elements, wind, water, earth, fire, and ether. There have actually since been 3 Papas, the one performing now called Papa Emeritus III, like the succession of the pope. I think in the last 10 years or so, I have really gotten into groups that have a "schtick" for lack of a better word, or an overall theme to their music. And Ghost is no stranger to that. Most songs have to do with the devil, antichrist, doomsday, sexuality, and more, all in a way satirizing religion.

The current Papa and ghouls receiving their Grammy this year

The concert can be described as an experience somewhat like if I was attending a Satanic church, I guess, if I did that. The lighting effects were great and the energy in the venue was pretty fantastic.   

A Message From The Clergy: Air ripping it up in Mummy Dust tonight in Portland, OR. #popestartour #papaemeritusiii #thenamelessghouls #marissanadler

A photo posted by The Band Ghost (@thebandghost) on Oct 16, 2016 at 10:39pm PDT

Horror-tober 15: Special Quadruple Feature

Special Poster made for the event by artist Tristan Jones @tyrannojones

This day was a special quadruple horror feature event. Hollywood Theatre is a local, historic non-profit theater with a lot of interesting events and special showings. The group that does a Grindhouse Film Festival at the theater put this event on this year. Four movies - a Satanic film, an underrated horror sequel, a forgotten 80's slasher, and a batshit-crazy Italian gutmuncher - all rare, 35mm reels. I knew this wasn't for Joey, so I went on my own. But two friends were there and I had some company to sit through these four movies with. On to the ratings!

Satanic Film 

Race with the Devil

Motorcycle racer and dealer, Roger (Peter Fonda) heads out in an RV for a vacation with his wife, Kelly and longtime friends Frank (Warren Oates) and Alice (Loretta Swit of M*A*S*H fame). All seems well until they witness some satanic ritual while camping in a remote spot in Texas on the way to Colorado. Hell breaks lose after they report what they saw to the local law enforcement and they find themselves pursued by the relentless satanists to the very end.

I liked this one alright, it was very action-packed and pretty suspenseful. It was also fun to see Peter Fonda in something unlike I have ever seen him in before. The emcee of the event, for lack of a better word, mentioned that Warren Oates is an underrated actor of the time, and then made a comment about his reaction in the film when he believes he is witnessing an orgy. He was right, it was a pretty fantastic reaction. My main complaint, as is true with a lot of these earlier movies, is the blatant animal abuse. There is a scene where the satanists snuck into the RV and left two live rattlesnakes. Ten intense, grueling, and painfully awful minutes later the two snakes are killed and thrown out of the RV. Not clear if the snakes were actually killed but they seemed to be beat with various items in this scene and it is pretty difficult to watch (mostly because of the constant shrieking from the two female leads). Otherwise the movie was goofy and pretty entertaining throughout.    

Underrated Horror Sequel 

Psycho II

Norman Bates has spent the last 22 years in a mental institution and is released to return home. The victims' families are not happy and incessantly tell the police he needs to be put away forever, not free to kill again. When people start disappearing around the house, everyone questions if Norman is truly "cured" or if being home has made his mind snap back to his "old ways".  

Anthony Perkins revives his role as iconic Norman Bates in this sequel and he does it really well. You almost feel for the guy and don't want him to go crazy and start killing people again. But as he appears to slip further into madness because of the circumstances at the house, you can see that crazy look return. 

It was funny, weird, and pretty darn good overall. It had the best death scene of the night, when a man is stab on a staircase and falls backwards over the railing and with the knife still in him, he lands on the second railing below right on the knife hilt. Gruesome, ridiculous, but well done. This one also has some other recognizable faces, including Dennis Franz, Meg Tilly, Robert Loggia, and Vera Miles (in her same role from Psycho). This might have been my favorite of the night, so it gets the highest rating.

Forgotten 80's Slasher

The Funhouse

The fair is in town and Amy's little brother wants to go! But he is stuck at home while she goes with her boyfriend and another couple. They decide, wouldn't it be fun to stay in the funhouse over night? Yeah, I suppose it would be, but they soon find out the fair hides some dark secrets and they will have to pay a price for discovering those secrets, trapped in the funhouse.

From the director of Texas Chanisaw Massacre (Tobe Hooper), The Funhouse is a fun romp in the "hillbilly", freakshow slasher way. This is one I had actually seen before (the only of all four, which is pretty good!) but back in my early twenties so it was nice to see it again after so long. Also of note, the 35mm of this film was borrowed from Quentin Tarantino's private collection. This movie is genuinely creepy with fantastic cinematography. It is a slow build with a pretty good score. Yes, there is some poor acting and it is goofy but it ends so perfectly. A gem in my eyes and definitely worth a watch.

Batshit-crazy Italian Gutmuncher

Burial Ground

A scientist of some sort is in a crypt when the dead come to life. A group of people come to visit said scientist at his estate and the dead escape from the crypt, coming to eat the living!

So many words for this one. First, I was very happy that this was the last one shown for the night. One because it was entertaining enough to keep me awake until the end and two because it was SUCH a bizarre movie that if I was in my right mind, I may not have enjoyed it at all. As far as calling it a batshit-crazy Italian gutmuncher, all correct and completely accurate. Second, there is an underlying plot, but the movie is just so relentless with the undead and gore that all character development just flies right out the window. Whoosh! Really all I can say for the story is, "It smells of death." Third, the "child" played by a small adult man. That's right. I'm actually not even sure how old he is supposed to be, 6? 8? 11? Who knows. But it is creepy, weird, hilarious, and sort of makes a lot of sense as to why it was not an actual child in the movie (SPOILERS and links for the brave!).

Finally, the gore. It seems like a running theme in the 80's Italian genre to be gross-out gory, and this film fits that mold. The makeup effects have real worms and maggots crawling around the eye socket of the undead for close-up shots. The guts that the undead tear into when they make a fresh kill are all totally real (from some animal obviously). And buckets of blood.    

I only give this one a three because I was in such a weird state of mind and am also rating it in comparison to the others (not as good as Psycho or Funhouse but better than Devil). If I watched it today, it would not be rated as high. I give the movie a rating after I see it even if I feel a bit delirious at the time and it takes me a week to write the blog.  

After about 6-7 hours the last film ended and I headed home at a little after 5am. I think the best part of the whole event was being with an audience to laugh, cheer, and otherwise engage with during the showings. Also the ridiculous trailers matching the theme of the movie were spectacular (Satanic films, horror sequels, slashers all with "Don't" in the title, and seriously WTF kind of trailer did I just see, is that really a movie?). Actually I wish I had remembered what the Asian horror one was called that was shown before Burial, I think it looked even more batshit-crazy than that film. 100% would do this again next year if they do it, I suspect they will. Big thanks to Leif for making me aware of this event and sticking in to the end with me!

Horror-tober 14: Hobgoblins

Creatures from outer space are contained in a vault on a Hollywood movie lot, or something similar. One night they escape and begin to wreak havoc in the town. They make your dream come true, but at a price!

Some familiar silhouettes with some hobgoblins on screen.

The only reason this one came up was 1) because it sort of became a cult classic when it was featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K) and 2) because one of the taglines said, "The movie lampooned by Mystery Science Theater 3000, this is Gremlins as seen through the campy eyes of John Waters." How could I resist? I should have resisted. For B-horror movies, it is expected that it would be kind of a stinker. But maybe would be a kind of funny and entertaining stinker. Or become a cult classic kind of stinker. A Troll 2 kind of stinker. Nope, just bad. The best part of the film was when the main characters went to a club and there was a punk band playing. The scene was literally the whole song. Maybe a good 4 minutes of one song while our characters are sitting at a table glancing around awkwardly. The band was actually decent, the Fontanelles (not to be mistaken with the band from the UK) and turns out they have an interesting story of how they became a band. But the scene was pretty pointless.

The creatures were sort of designed well, but unlike Gremlins, they were not puppets. Or at least not the kind that actually moved, no eye blinks, no mouth moving, no head turning, nothing. I don't really know if I can say much more. I actually fell asleep during most of this movie. Sometimes that is just because I am really tired, not so in this case. It bored me to sleep. Half way through I had just wished that we had found and watched the MST3K version. It would have been more enjoyable that way. But honestly the soundtrack is pretty good with some other Fontanelles songs.

Joey's rating:

He actually said he gave it "a dollar". So I quickly made this hobgoblin dollar for his rating.

My rating:

Horror-tober 13: 2001 Maniacs

Some college kids are headed to Florida for spring break. Of course they plan to party hard during the week, but they are also supposed to be writing a History term paper. When they drive through a southern town (called Pleasant Valley) on the way they will get the history lesson of their lives, or deaths more like. The South will rise again! 

Welcome to Pleasant Valley!

It has been a number of years since I last saw this one, but even for the shlocky-ness of the plot, it had left a mark on me that I wanted to revisit. I remembered some of the death scenes very vividly and also remembering thinking it was utterly stupid. It is. But, it is also pretty fun. Mayor Buckman (Robert Englund) is the patriarch of this sleepy little southern town and Granny Boone (played by iconic Lin Shaye) the matriarch. Aside from the terrible acting in most of this film, these two shine in their roles as cannibalistic ghosts. That's right, if you haven't seen it, I just ruined it for you. They're ghosts. That eat people. I mean, there's a "You ARE what they eat" tagline and gravestones on the cover. It's really not all that surprising. But, really anything Robert Englund is in is a gem in my book. I haven't watched the Masters of Horror - Dance of the Dead with him yet, but a friend of mine really likes it so that might appear on the list next year. Also has a short appearance by horror director Eli Roth in it. Overall, basically what you would expect for a gore-fest set in the deep south with stupid college spring breakers and racist, cannibalistic ghosts. The death scenes are hilarious and sort of creative. My favorite was when the Mayor was talking to a victim and he spits in his eye, except not in his eye but on the eye patch and he put a handkerchief on it like he was so offended and hurt. It's those subtleties in the humor of this movie that gives it the 3-skull rating it deserves.