Horror-tober 4: Cooties

"Circle, circle, dot, dot, now you've got a cootie shot." When a contaminated chicken nugget sparks the child zombie apocalypse, a group of teachers fight and outwit the little monsters to survive.

I have wanted to watch this one for some time. Written by the creator of the Saw franchise, Leigh Whannell, and writer for Glee, Ian Brennan. Hence this one has a demented plot but with a pleasantly dark comedic twist that you could expect from the minds of these two. Plus, the production company which Elijah Wood is a co-founder of, Spectrevision, has some other great movies to their credit, namely A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night. So I had fairly high hopes for this one.

With this as one of the opening shots, how could you not want to watch what happens?

A zombie outbreak where only children are turned into flesh-eating monsters, because children are creepy (The Omen and Children of the Corn to name a few) but relentless killing zombie children are also pretty dang creepy. I guess where the title comes from is in the narrative, the outbreak only affects pre-pubescent children. Because I guess when you hit puberty you don't have cooties anymore or vice versa?

Anyway, Cooties also has a pretty fantastic comedic cast, Jack McBrayer, Rainn Wilson, and Nasim Pedrad. Elijah Wood as Clint was also much more enjoyable and believable than his go as the psycho in Maniac. I mean it is really hard for me to see him as anything but a sort of nerdy character anyway. Although this wasn't as enjoyable as some other dark horror comedies, such as Shaun of the Dead, it had some good laugh out loud moments and plenty of gross out scenes as well. The gore definitely fit in with some other zombie flicks with tons of gut-ripping and blood-gushing and some disturbing scenes with kids playing marbles with eyeballs and jump rope with intestines among other gory recess games. 

My rating:

Horror-tober 3: Army of Darkness

A more comedic (if that is possible) and action-packed movie from The Evil Dead franchise, Army of Darkness follows lead badass Ash into medieval England where he must fight the army of the dead to return to the present.

B-Movie Bingo hosted by Wolf Choir is among some of Hollywood Theatre's recurring special events that I really enjoy. Occurring on the first Tuesday of every month, it is an experience, filled with video pizza, prizes, and more! I haven't been in over a year but when I saw that they were showing Army of Darkness, I had to go. I even mentioned B-Movie Bingo in 2014 for my review of Dead Heat.

If you have not been to B-Movie Bingo, I suggest checking it out. The squares are hilarious action cliches such as, "smashed through window", "beefcake", "crash and burn", "impaled", "rolling head", "deformed villain", "lone wolf attitude", "awesome tuck and roll", and more. And the best of all the "Blank Square!" in the middle of the board. No, the "Blank Square!" is not a free space, it is so much more than that. There are some rules with the "Blank Square!": 1) it has to be something so awesome it deserves a space on the board but there isn't one, 2) it has to be something you will not see in any other movie, and 3) honestly just something really bizarre. Many people really get into it because it's a lot of fun to go and participate. And prizes! PRIZES!

A classic, and turns out a great one for B-Movie Bingo (it was sold out and the first bingo happened within maybe 15 minutes), Army is a machismo romp with laughs, gore galore, and a charm all its own. From cheesy lines and wonderfully cheesy but very practical special effects, this one has a special place in my heart. Evil Dead 2 is still my favorite of the franchise but Army is quite a bit more lighthearted and slapsticky. A few scenes feel like watching some old Three Stooges episodes, with Ash's "mini-mes", the slapping dance with his evil self, and his battle with the rising army of the dead. Army is definitely the most iconic of the Dead franchise, with lines like, "This... is my boomstick!" and "gimme some sugar baby." It is always fun to watch this one, and even more so when enjoying it with fellow fans for a great event. Oh, and we won the third place prize! I've only ever won candy after the main prizes, and never the grand prize, so that was pretty exciting!

I said we were going to win the cat prize, and we did! 

My rating:

Joey's rating:

Horror-tober 2: Melvin

Three years after horror-nerd Melvin is killed by some school bullies he comes back, and with the involuntary help of Norton Pinkus, he gets revenge on the bullies and all those that did him wrong in high school.

Even though a friend of mine stars and was involved in the production of this film, it took me awhile to get it on the list. Now it is available on Amazon Prime streaming and can be rented through the digital streaming service, Hoopla, which I have raved about in previous posts.

Melvin is a zombie comedy flick from the independent Oregon production company, 531 Productions. It satisfies the classic zombie itch but does break some "rules". Mainly, Norton is bitten by Melvin when he comes back, but Norton does not become a mindless, flesh-eating zombie right away. In fact, like a werewolf, Norton only becomes a zombie at night, minus the full moon. 

This whole scene was my favorite and the funniest in the movie.

The production quality isn't great (531's more recent productions are quite a bit better), but it is a lot of fun. Especially when the zombie action starts. The gore and makeup effects are actually impressive. Plus, Lloyd Kaufman of Troma Entertainment, has an awesome cameo in this as an actor in the Night of the Driller horror movie. The full trailer of which 531 Productions includes during the end credits. It is a great homage to horror movie trailers of the 70s and 80s.

Actually, I feel like there may be some Troma influence in the thematic elements of Melvin. When the prank the bullies pull on Melvin goes wrong they make it look like he was kidnapped and raped which is a bit messed up, especially how they pull it off. Not exactly Troma-esque but there is a taste of grotesque and disturbing there. In the end, we get the gruesome and satisfying deaths of the three main bullies and Norton finds true love in the afterlife.

Death by mop

MORTAL KOMBAT! 

This movie had my father-in-law in stitches even though he only gave it 2.5 skulls for "some good jokes." Overall, I liked it because it is short and silly with all the carnage and gore you could hope for in a zombie film. 

Michael's rating:

Aimee's rating:

Joey's and my rating:

Horror-tober 15: Special Quadruple Feature

Special Poster made for the event by artist Tristan Jones @tyrannojones

This day was a special quadruple horror feature event. Hollywood Theatre is a local, historic non-profit theater with a lot of interesting events and special showings. The group that does a Grindhouse Film Festival at the theater put this event on this year. Four movies - a Satanic film, an underrated horror sequel, a forgotten 80's slasher, and a batshit-crazy Italian gutmuncher - all rare, 35mm reels. I knew this wasn't for Joey, so I went on my own. But two friends were there and I had some company to sit through these four movies with. On to the ratings!

Satanic Film 

Race with the Devil

Motorcycle racer and dealer, Roger (Peter Fonda) heads out in an RV for a vacation with his wife, Kelly and longtime friends Frank (Warren Oates) and Alice (Loretta Swit of M*A*S*H fame). All seems well until they witness some satanic ritual while camping in a remote spot in Texas on the way to Colorado. Hell breaks lose after they report what they saw to the local law enforcement and they find themselves pursued by the relentless satanists to the very end.

I liked this one alright, it was very action-packed and pretty suspenseful. It was also fun to see Peter Fonda in something unlike I have ever seen him in before. The emcee of the event, for lack of a better word, mentioned that Warren Oates is an underrated actor of the time, and then made a comment about his reaction in the film when he believes he is witnessing an orgy. He was right, it was a pretty fantastic reaction. My main complaint, as is true with a lot of these earlier movies, is the blatant animal abuse. There is a scene where the satanists snuck into the RV and left two live rattlesnakes. Ten intense, grueling, and painfully awful minutes later the two snakes are killed and thrown out of the RV. Not clear if the snakes were actually killed but they seemed to be beat with various items in this scene and it is pretty difficult to watch (mostly because of the constant shrieking from the two female leads). Otherwise the movie was goofy and pretty entertaining throughout.    

Underrated Horror Sequel 

Psycho II

Norman Bates has spent the last 22 years in a mental institution and is released to return home. The victims' families are not happy and incessantly tell the police he needs to be put away forever, not free to kill again. When people start disappearing around the house, everyone questions if Norman is truly "cured" or if being home has made his mind snap back to his "old ways".  

Anthony Perkins revives his role as iconic Norman Bates in this sequel and he does it really well. You almost feel for the guy and don't want him to go crazy and start killing people again. But as he appears to slip further into madness because of the circumstances at the house, you can see that crazy look return. 

It was funny, weird, and pretty darn good overall. It had the best death scene of the night, when a man is stab on a staircase and falls backwards over the railing and with the knife still in him, he lands on the second railing below right on the knife hilt. Gruesome, ridiculous, but well done. This one also has some other recognizable faces, including Dennis Franz, Meg Tilly, Robert Loggia, and Vera Miles (in her same role from Psycho). This might have been my favorite of the night, so it gets the highest rating.

Forgotten 80's Slasher

The Funhouse

The fair is in town and Amy's little brother wants to go! But he is stuck at home while she goes with her boyfriend and another couple. They decide, wouldn't it be fun to stay in the funhouse over night? Yeah, I suppose it would be, but they soon find out the fair hides some dark secrets and they will have to pay a price for discovering those secrets, trapped in the funhouse.

From the director of Texas Chanisaw Massacre (Tobe Hooper), The Funhouse is a fun romp in the "hillbilly", freakshow slasher way. This is one I had actually seen before (the only of all four, which is pretty good!) but back in my early twenties so it was nice to see it again after so long. Also of note, the 35mm of this film was borrowed from Quentin Tarantino's private collection. This movie is genuinely creepy with fantastic cinematography. It is a slow build with a pretty good score. Yes, there is some poor acting and it is goofy but it ends so perfectly. A gem in my eyes and definitely worth a watch.

Batshit-crazy Italian Gutmuncher

Burial Ground

A scientist of some sort is in a crypt when the dead come to life. A group of people come to visit said scientist at his estate and the dead escape from the crypt, coming to eat the living!

So many words for this one. First, I was very happy that this was the last one shown for the night. One because it was entertaining enough to keep me awake until the end and two because it was SUCH a bizarre movie that if I was in my right mind, I may not have enjoyed it at all. As far as calling it a batshit-crazy Italian gutmuncher, all correct and completely accurate. Second, there is an underlying plot, but the movie is just so relentless with the undead and gore that all character development just flies right out the window. Whoosh! Really all I can say for the story is, "It smells of death." Third, the "child" played by a small adult man. That's right. I'm actually not even sure how old he is supposed to be, 6? 8? 11? Who knows. But it is creepy, weird, hilarious, and sort of makes a lot of sense as to why it was not an actual child in the movie (SPOILERS and links for the brave!).

Finally, the gore. It seems like a running theme in the 80's Italian genre to be gross-out gory, and this film fits that mold. The makeup effects have real worms and maggots crawling around the eye socket of the undead for close-up shots. The guts that the undead tear into when they make a fresh kill are all totally real (from some animal obviously). And buckets of blood.    

I only give this one a three because I was in such a weird state of mind and am also rating it in comparison to the others (not as good as Psycho or Funhouse but better than Devil). If I watched it today, it would not be rated as high. I give the movie a rating after I see it even if I feel a bit delirious at the time and it takes me a week to write the blog.  

After about 6-7 hours the last film ended and I headed home at a little after 5am. I think the best part of the whole event was being with an audience to laugh, cheer, and otherwise engage with during the showings. Also the ridiculous trailers matching the theme of the movie were spectacular (Satanic films, horror sequels, slashers all with "Don't" in the title, and seriously WTF kind of trailer did I just see, is that really a movie?). Actually I wish I had remembered what the Asian horror one was called that was shown before Burial, I think it looked even more batshit-crazy than that film. 100% would do this again next year if they do it, I suspect they will. Big thanks to Leif for making me aware of this event and sticking in to the end with me!

Horror-tober 10: Maggie

Arnold? In a zombie movie?! Yes, please! But be warned it is not an action-packed one, more of a drama.

Post-zombie outbreak, a father goes to find his daughter at a hospital. She has been infected, the process takes awhile and she will live with her family until the infection takes over and her family takes her to be "put down" for lack of a better word.

Even though it was not your typical gore-fest zombie movie, I did enjoy this one. I watched a film called The Returned two years ago and feel this one has some similar thematic elements although not quite as good. The film is dreary, both visually and because of the plot. In a way it is also more of a character study and reflection of how someone will do anything for a loved one even when it feels like all hope is lost. It moves slowly through the story, which works, and Schwarzenegger plays the concerned and loving father well. It was also interesting to see Abigail Breslin (Little Miss Sunshine, Zombieland) in a film as a young adult, not that she hasn't been in other films since Sunshine or Zombieland but more that I haven't really been paying that much attention. All in all, a decent moody and dramatic film with a zombie element although a bit simplistic.  

Horror-tober 3: Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse

Zombday is usually my favorite day but I think next year I might have to change the classification of this day because I am running out of new zombie movies to watch, or at least there are less that pique my interest. We'll see.

The Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse is a gory tale of friendship and survival with sophmoric and raunchy humor. Longtime friends are coming to terms with growing up and feeling like they are "uncool" for being teenage scouts. When the zombie apocalypse breaks out, they realize they need to stick together because they have the skills to survive and save the town.

I think if I had seen this as a teenager or just as a 13 year-old boy I might have enjoyed it more. From start to finish the movie was a zombie gore fest with lots of references to boobs and sex. Sort of like watching a terrible version of Superbad (or something similar) with zombies. It was boring and stupid, but it did have zombie cats, I liked that. More zombie cats please and less zombie boobs! Oh, and more zombies singing Britney Spears. In fact, I want a whole troop of zombies singing and dancing to "Toxic" or "Work Bitch". I would watch that. I was also disappointed that Blake Anderson (Blake from Workaholics) was in the film so briefly. The truth is, this is my second time watching this (first time was outside of Horror-tober earlier this year) and I did not enjoy it anymore than the first. In fact, I think I enjoyed it less which doesn't happen very often.

Joey and I agree on a rating for this one: