Horror-tober 15: Special Quadruple Feature

Special Poster made for the event by artist Tristan Jones @tyrannojones

This day was a special quadruple horror feature event. Hollywood Theatre is a local, historic non-profit theater with a lot of interesting events and special showings. The group that does a Grindhouse Film Festival at the theater put this event on this year. Four movies - a Satanic film, an underrated horror sequel, a forgotten 80's slasher, and a batshit-crazy Italian gutmuncher - all rare, 35mm reels. I knew this wasn't for Joey, so I went on my own. But two friends were there and I had some company to sit through these four movies with. On to the ratings!

Satanic Film 

Race with the Devil

Motorcycle racer and dealer, Roger (Peter Fonda) heads out in an RV for a vacation with his wife, Kelly and longtime friends Frank (Warren Oates) and Alice (Loretta Swit of M*A*S*H fame). All seems well until they witness some satanic ritual while camping in a remote spot in Texas on the way to Colorado. Hell breaks lose after they report what they saw to the local law enforcement and they find themselves pursued by the relentless satanists to the very end.

I liked this one alright, it was very action-packed and pretty suspenseful. It was also fun to see Peter Fonda in something unlike I have ever seen him in before. The emcee of the event, for lack of a better word, mentioned that Warren Oates is an underrated actor of the time, and then made a comment about his reaction in the film when he believes he is witnessing an orgy. He was right, it was a pretty fantastic reaction. My main complaint, as is true with a lot of these earlier movies, is the blatant animal abuse. There is a scene where the satanists snuck into the RV and left two live rattlesnakes. Ten intense, grueling, and painfully awful minutes later the two snakes are killed and thrown out of the RV. Not clear if the snakes were actually killed but they seemed to be beat with various items in this scene and it is pretty difficult to watch (mostly because of the constant shrieking from the two female leads). Otherwise the movie was goofy and pretty entertaining throughout.    

Underrated Horror Sequel 

Psycho II

Norman Bates has spent the last 22 years in a mental institution and is released to return home. The victims' families are not happy and incessantly tell the police he needs to be put away forever, not free to kill again. When people start disappearing around the house, everyone questions if Norman is truly "cured" or if being home has made his mind snap back to his "old ways".  

Anthony Perkins revives his role as iconic Norman Bates in this sequel and he does it really well. You almost feel for the guy and don't want him to go crazy and start killing people again. But as he appears to slip further into madness because of the circumstances at the house, you can see that crazy look return. 

It was funny, weird, and pretty darn good overall. It had the best death scene of the night, when a man is stab on a staircase and falls backwards over the railing and with the knife still in him, he lands on the second railing below right on the knife hilt. Gruesome, ridiculous, but well done. This one also has some other recognizable faces, including Dennis Franz, Meg Tilly, Robert Loggia, and Vera Miles (in her same role from Psycho). This might have been my favorite of the night, so it gets the highest rating.

Forgotten 80's Slasher

The Funhouse

The fair is in town and Amy's little brother wants to go! But he is stuck at home while she goes with her boyfriend and another couple. They decide, wouldn't it be fun to stay in the funhouse over night? Yeah, I suppose it would be, but they soon find out the fair hides some dark secrets and they will have to pay a price for discovering those secrets, trapped in the funhouse.

From the director of Texas Chanisaw Massacre (Tobe Hooper), The Funhouse is a fun romp in the "hillbilly", freakshow slasher way. This is one I had actually seen before (the only of all four, which is pretty good!) but back in my early twenties so it was nice to see it again after so long. Also of note, the 35mm of this film was borrowed from Quentin Tarantino's private collection. This movie is genuinely creepy with fantastic cinematography. It is a slow build with a pretty good score. Yes, there is some poor acting and it is goofy but it ends so perfectly. A gem in my eyes and definitely worth a watch.

Batshit-crazy Italian Gutmuncher

Burial Ground

A scientist of some sort is in a crypt when the dead come to life. A group of people come to visit said scientist at his estate and the dead escape from the crypt, coming to eat the living!

So many words for this one. First, I was very happy that this was the last one shown for the night. One because it was entertaining enough to keep me awake until the end and two because it was SUCH a bizarre movie that if I was in my right mind, I may not have enjoyed it at all. As far as calling it a batshit-crazy Italian gutmuncher, all correct and completely accurate. Second, there is an underlying plot, but the movie is just so relentless with the undead and gore that all character development just flies right out the window. Whoosh! Really all I can say for the story is, "It smells of death." Third, the "child" played by a small adult man. That's right. I'm actually not even sure how old he is supposed to be, 6? 8? 11? Who knows. But it is creepy, weird, hilarious, and sort of makes a lot of sense as to why it was not an actual child in the movie (SPOILERS and links for the brave!).

Finally, the gore. It seems like a running theme in the 80's Italian genre to be gross-out gory, and this film fits that mold. The makeup effects have real worms and maggots crawling around the eye socket of the undead for close-up shots. The guts that the undead tear into when they make a fresh kill are all totally real (from some animal obviously). And buckets of blood.    

I only give this one a three because I was in such a weird state of mind and am also rating it in comparison to the others (not as good as Psycho or Funhouse but better than Devil). If I watched it today, it would not be rated as high. I give the movie a rating after I see it even if I feel a bit delirious at the time and it takes me a week to write the blog.  

After about 6-7 hours the last film ended and I headed home at a little after 5am. I think the best part of the whole event was being with an audience to laugh, cheer, and otherwise engage with during the showings. Also the ridiculous trailers matching the theme of the movie were spectacular (Satanic films, horror sequels, slashers all with "Don't" in the title, and seriously WTF kind of trailer did I just see, is that really a movie?). Actually I wish I had remembered what the Asian horror one was called that was shown before Burial, I think it looked even more batshit-crazy than that film. 100% would do this again next year if they do it, I suspect they will. Big thanks to Leif for making me aware of this event and sticking in to the end with me!

Horror-tober 14: Hobgoblins

Creatures from outer space are contained in a vault on a Hollywood movie lot, or something similar. One night they escape and begin to wreak havoc in the town. They make your dream come true, but at a price!

Some familiar silhouettes with some hobgoblins on screen.

The only reason this one came up was 1) because it sort of became a cult classic when it was featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K) and 2) because one of the taglines said, "The movie lampooned by Mystery Science Theater 3000, this is Gremlins as seen through the campy eyes of John Waters." How could I resist? I should have resisted. For B-horror movies, it is expected that it would be kind of a stinker. But maybe would be a kind of funny and entertaining stinker. Or become a cult classic kind of stinker. A Troll 2 kind of stinker. Nope, just bad. The best part of the film was when the main characters went to a club and there was a punk band playing. The scene was literally the whole song. Maybe a good 4 minutes of one song while our characters are sitting at a table glancing around awkwardly. The band was actually decent, the Fontanelles (not to be mistaken with the band from the UK) and turns out they have an interesting story of how they became a band. But the scene was pretty pointless.

The creatures were sort of designed well, but unlike Gremlins, they were not puppets. Or at least not the kind that actually moved, no eye blinks, no mouth moving, no head turning, nothing. I don't really know if I can say much more. I actually fell asleep during most of this movie. Sometimes that is just because I am really tired, not so in this case. It bored me to sleep. Half way through I had just wished that we had found and watched the MST3K version. It would have been more enjoyable that way. But honestly the soundtrack is pretty good with some other Fontanelles songs.

Joey's rating:

He actually said he gave it "a dollar". So I quickly made this hobgoblin dollar for his rating.

My rating:

Horror-tober 12: The Voices

Jerry works in a factory in the small-town he grew up in. Not really noticed by most of his coworkers, he interacts with an accounting girl and finds himself smitten with her. When she doesn't show up for their "date", things get a little sour for Jerry. Oh, and he also thinks his animals are talking to him.

I'm a little on the fence for the rating of this one. I liked it because it did a dark comedy horror pretty well. But I was almost also rooting for Jerry to be OK and not make some of the decisions he did. So really it made me feel weird about "rooting" for the psycho killer but also wanting him to get caught and/or killed himself. Very conflicting feelings for this one. It is darkly funny and a bit macabre. Ridiculous but also really well written.

Not until a bit later did I realize that the voices Jerry was hearing were actually Ryan Reynolds doing them (which makes sense because they are the voices he creates as he dips deeper into his madness). I mean, Mr. Whiskers had such a good Scottish accent I kept trying to place it and thinking that it was Chris (Mark Bonnar) from Catastrophe (Amazon TV show that is pretty good). Bosco, the dog had a bit of a Billy Bob Thornton quality. All in all, Reynolds has been a favorite of mine for awhile, yeah mostly because he is pretty attractive, but seeing him in this role was so much different and he was actually really good in it. Also features Anna Kendrick. However, it does not get a much higher rating because the climax was a little dull and by that point I got a bit bored with the whole story. But then the credits ran. What was THAT?

So I also have to mention that tonight it was a choice between two movies, This one or The Neon Dead. I had originally had chosen Dead because it was shorter but I watched the first 10 minutes and decided it wasn't worth the time. But I wanted to see some of what originally attracted me to the movie, so I fast-forwarded through some of it to see if it got any better. Not. Don't watch it. Other than the movie being shot pretty much entirely in blacklight to create the neon element, it was definitely a B-movie that can be skipped. However, I do like this mask still and am considering how to make one. Maybe they were trying to make something with an Attack the Block feel? Who knows. But, remember folks, part of the reason I watch these is so that you guys don't have to, I got your backs.

The Voices rating:

The Neon Dead rating. Although I just skimmed through the whole movie, felt like I needed to give it something:

Horror-tober 11: Witching and Bitching (Las Brujas de Zugarramurdi)

This one has been on my list to watch for some time, so I'm glad that I finally got a chance to work it in for Horror-tober Fest.

A man, robs a "cash for gold" shop with some other down on their luck men, basically so he can escape with his son and no longer provide alimony. Running from the police with one of his accomplices, his son, a hijacked cab driver, and a man that was on his way to a job interview, this rag tag crew finds themselves on the way to France. But they have to pass through Zugarramurdi, a place known for dark magics and witches.

This Spanish movie is zany and over-the-top all the way through from the very begininng. With elements of comedy, romance, and good old gross out horror, this one was quite enjoyable. Also a farce on misogyny and feminism in a way. It is insane, the effects are weird and kooky, and it often does not make sense, but that is what makes this one a joy to sit through. Because I am running behind on my reviews, I am making this one and others brief.  

Horror-tober 3: Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse

Zombday is usually my favorite day but I think next year I might have to change the classification of this day because I am running out of new zombie movies to watch, or at least there are less that pique my interest. We'll see.

The Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse is a gory tale of friendship and survival with sophmoric and raunchy humor. Longtime friends are coming to terms with growing up and feeling like they are "uncool" for being teenage scouts. When the zombie apocalypse breaks out, they realize they need to stick together because they have the skills to survive and save the town.

I think if I had seen this as a teenager or just as a 13 year-old boy I might have enjoyed it more. From start to finish the movie was a zombie gore fest with lots of references to boobs and sex. Sort of like watching a terrible version of Superbad (or something similar) with zombies. It was boring and stupid, but it did have zombie cats, I liked that. More zombie cats please and less zombie boobs! Oh, and more zombies singing Britney Spears. In fact, I want a whole troop of zombies singing and dancing to "Toxic" or "Work Bitch". I would watch that. I was also disappointed that Blake Anderson (Blake from Workaholics) was in the film so briefly. The truth is, this is my second time watching this (first time was outside of Horror-tober earlier this year) and I did not enjoy it anymore than the first. In fact, I think I enjoyed it less which doesn't happen very often.

Joey and I agree on a rating for this one:

Horror-tober 1: Holidays

I thought it fitting to start off this year's Horror fest with an anthology about horrific holidays.

It starts with Valentine's day, and this one was sort of reminiscent of the Horror flick My Bloody Valentine. A young girl picked on by fellow students is in love with her diving coach who needs surgery for a heart transplant. In the end, she finds a creative way to ensure his well-being.

We then move to St. Patrick's Day where a school teacher longs for a child of her own. When a new student in class informs her that she (the student) will smile when her deepest desire is fulfilled, the school teacher learns she is pregnant after a memorable (yet forgotten) St. Patrick's Day romp. Although it is not exactly what she hoped for. This one is pretty zany, and darkly humorous.

Easter celebrates the resurrection of Jesus Christ. But the Easter Bunny and the hunt or colorful eggs has become the main celebration for those that aren't devoutly religious. So no surprise that the Easter Bunny presented in this horrific tale isn't the cute and fluffy one we all expect.

I wasn't really expecting a tale for Mother's day or Father's day for that matter. But both were decently done and played with some Satanic and otherworldly horror themes. Actually, I am still not sure who "He" was in the Father's day tale, but that is what makes it kind of interesting. You can speculate and come to your own conclusions with this story. Also the videography in Father's Day was definitely my favorite of all of them.

Mother's Day

Father's Day

That brings us to the most important holiday of all, Halloween! This story was directed by Kevin Smith and didn't disappoint. A little torture porn tale blending in the modern technical age of webcams. Also stars his daughter, who was delightfully sadistic.

Leaving, the best holiday we visit Christmas. Seth Green makes an appearance in this tale, and it is a pretty funny one. A new device, UVU, shows us how the stress and pressure of the holidays can turn us into monsters.

The anthology is rounded out with a tale about New Year's Eve. It kind of rounds out the this holidays flick when a man is flipping through a photo album of his recent kidnapee in different holiday outfits. Bored and feeling underappreciated by this woman (named Mandy no less) he moves on to find a new victim. But little does he know, he isn't the only creep searching for "love" on New Year's Eve.

I felt the same way about this anthology as I have with past ones (V/H/S and The ABCs of Death namely), that you kind of get a mediocre grouping of horror tales that have some vision, but that end awkwardly or are just plain boring and predictable. I enjoyed about 3 of these. I did find the Easter one to be pretty disturbing (just that bunny, yeesh), but otherwise the story was lacking and a bit confusing. The best part of the anthology is to see the different styles of each director, from the feeling of an 80's slasher in Valentine's Day to the psycho-trip of Satanic worshiping in Mother's Day. Overall, this one was fun in some instances, but pretty mundane as a whole.

   

Horror-tober 16: Tusk

Another that has been on my list for awhile but haven't gotten around to it until now. It seemed to do poorly in theaters but I thought it was pretty fun.

Tusk is a story about a podcaster, Wallace (Justin Long), and his search for a good story or really just his search for someone to make fun of on his podcast with his best friend, Teddy (Haley Joel Osment). When he travels to Manitoba to do an interview with a kid that cut his own leg off on video, he finds himself stuck there with no interview because the kid committed suicide before his arrival. Searching for a new story or just a weirdo Canadian he can exploit, he winds up in a bar where he finds an advertisement for a room for rent. The guy, Howard Howe (Michael Parks) as we find out, used to be a seaman and has many stories to tell. Wallace contacts him and arranges to meet him that same night. Howard gives off a strange vibe but regales Wallace with some crazy stories and then drugs him. The next day Wallace wakes up with a missing leg and soon discovers Howard wants more from him than to just share his stories of the sea. He wants a companion to fill the void of a walrus he knew, named Mr. Tusk.

Howard operating on Wallace

Directed by Kevin Smith, Tusk is a humorous and gruesome horror comedy. It is based on a story that Smith with friend Scott Mosier told on his own podcast, SModcast. I know it is not explicitly a creature-feature and sort of fits more into the "body horror" genre. But Wallace (almost sounds like walrus) is turned into and conditioned to behave like a creature, albeit a really messed up one. Johnny Depp also makes an appearance in this one as the detective from Quebec chasing an unknown serial killer that turns out to be our Mr. Howe. I enjoyed it because it was such a weird premise and Long played a great douchey guy that you honestly do not feel sorry for. Depp was also delightfully weird as the French Canadian detective although he seemed to lose his accent here and there. Tusk is the first installment of a triology of horror comedies Smith is making about the True North or Canada. I look forward to seeing what he does with the others since this one was quite entertaining.

Howard lamenting about the world with his new Mr. Tusk

My rating:

Joey's rating: 

Skyra's rating: