Horror-tober 2: Melvin

Three years after horror-nerd Melvin is killed by some school bullies he comes back, and with the involuntary help of Norton Pinkus, he gets revenge on the bullies and all those that did him wrong in high school.

Even though a friend of mine stars and was involved in the production of this film, it took me awhile to get it on the list. Now it is available on Amazon Prime streaming and can be rented through the digital streaming service, Hoopla, which I have raved about in previous posts.

Melvin is a zombie comedy flick from the independent Oregon production company, 531 Productions. It satisfies the classic zombie itch but does break some "rules". Mainly, Norton is bitten by Melvin when he comes back, but Norton does not become a mindless, flesh-eating zombie right away. In fact, like a werewolf, Norton only becomes a zombie at night, minus the full moon. 

This whole scene was my favorite and the funniest in the movie.

The production quality isn't great (531's more recent productions are quite a bit better), but it is a lot of fun. Especially when the zombie action starts. The gore and makeup effects are actually impressive. Plus, Lloyd Kaufman of Troma Entertainment, has an awesome cameo in this as an actor in the Night of the Driller horror movie. The full trailer of which 531 Productions includes during the end credits. It is a great homage to horror movie trailers of the 70s and 80s.

Actually, I feel like there may be some Troma influence in the thematic elements of Melvin. When the prank the bullies pull on Melvin goes wrong they make it look like he was kidnapped and raped which is a bit messed up, especially how they pull it off. Not exactly Troma-esque but there is a taste of grotesque and disturbing there. In the end, we get the gruesome and satisfying deaths of the three main bullies and Norton finds true love in the afterlife.

Death by mop

MORTAL KOMBAT! 

This movie had my father-in-law in stitches even though he only gave it 2.5 skulls for "some good jokes." Overall, I liked it because it is short and silly with all the carnage and gore you could hope for in a zombie film. 

Michael's rating:

Aimee's rating:

Joey's and my rating:

Five Years, Seriously?!

I've been doing this for five years?! And I still haven't finished a whole month of blogs? Well, maybe this year we will get through all the reviews. 

Anyway, I am pretty excited about this year as there are quite a few new releases I've been meaning to watch from the last few years and I intend to include most of them on the list. I have watched a few horror movies already this year (Shhhhh, it's our little secret) and may also include some of those as special features. Lately though, I've been thinking about changing up the categories a bit. Especially because we have lost a few greats in the world of horror this year (George A. Romero and Tobe Hopper among them) and I've been thinking of featuring more of their movies this year in honor but don't really want to try to "fit" them into some category. In all honesty, I am running out of zombie movies and there are only so many new schlocky ones I can take. If you have any suggestions, I am all ears. For now, same old categories below.

            Supernatural Sunday A day to fit ghosts, witches, vampires, and anything otherworldly 

            that doesn’t necessarily fall into any of the other categories.

            Zombday In a zombie apocalypse, these slow-shuffling, brain-loving undead take over the 

            world. In Horror-tober, they take over a day. BRAAAAAAINS!

            Transcontinental Tuesday Foreign films. Japan, Korea, Spain, even Canada – wherever 

            offers up a good old scary story for viewing pleasure.

            Wacky Wednesday The fun and lighthearted. The funny and dark. The campy. Or the 

            animated and weird. Just plain "wacky". 

            Throwback Thursday Those classics I love or new favorites I want to watch again.

            Creature-Feature Friday For all things monster and creepy-crawly. 

            Slasher Saturday Slashers, thrillers, home invasions, torture porn, body horror, et al.

Again, I did not finish last year’s posts. However, I kind of like doing these breakdowns of the ratings from the previous year now. It's nice to remind myself of all the great, OK, and terrible movies I subject myself to in the span of a single month. 
   

1 – Holidays – 2.5 skulls – Creepy vignettes about various holidays. Was mostly OK.

2 – We Are Still Here – 3 skulls – Good haunted house vibes and throwback to horror movies of the 70s.  

3 – Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse – 1.5 skulls – Just too juvenile for my tastes. 

4 – Onibaba – 4 skulls – Superb storytelling and cinematography in this classic.

5 – Extraordinary Tales – 3 skulls – Different Poe stories animated in varying styles. Was decent. 

6 – The Babadook – 4 skulls – Psychological horror and family drama. Creepy as hell and good for a rewatch. BABA DOOK DOOK DOOOOOOK! 

7 – Grizzly – 3.5 skulls – Ridiculous prehistoric grizzly bear attacks and hunky men of the 70s. Worth it.

8 – Hush – 4 skulls – Definitely my favorite of the new ones for 2016. A nice twist on home invasion thrillers and well worth the watch. 

9 – Supernatural Shorts:

Foxes – 3.5 skulls – I love foxes, but they definitely have a blood-curdling scream.

Don't Move – 4 skulls – Delightfully gory and kind of funny. 

Teddy Bears are for Lovers – 4 skulls – Also delightfully funny. 

Geist – 3.5 skulls – Animated ghost story that was kind of heartbreaking.
             Red Girl – 2.5 skulls – Really short, OK. 
             Daddy – 2 skulls – Don't remember too much but that it was OK.
             Abandoned – 2.5 skulls – I gave this one an extra .5 skull compared to Daddy because I                was not expecting the ending. Otherwise OK.
             Coffer – 3.5 skulls – From the same director of the Lights Out short from last year. Good,              but not as good. 
             The Wicked – 2.5 skulls – Liked the single frame shot throughout, but meh.
             The Pride of Strathmoor – 3 skulls – Animated, decent but fairly disturbing.    

10 – Maggie – 3 skulls – Arnold zombie drama. Not too bad.

11 – Witching and Bitching – 3.5 skulls – Raucous and ridiculous and loved it. 

12 – The Voices – 3 skulls – Ryan Reynolds shines as a weirdo hearing voices (his pets talk to him, but not really. Because voices).
The Neon Dead – 1.5 skulls – Was the one I had originally planned to watch this night but it was so bad I had to fast forward and then watched The Voices.

13 – 2001 Maniacs – 3 skulls – Robert Englund. Cannibalistic, redneck/hillbilly/confederate ghosts? Need I say more? 

14 – Hobgoblins – 1.5 skulls – Best scene was the band playing at the bar. Literally almost 6 minutes (I could be exaggerating) of just the band playing and people dancing. 

15 – Special 4 Movie Feature at Hollywood Theatre – 4 movies. 1 night. Friends. Beer. Coffee. Rad.
             Race with the Devil – 2.5 skulls – Peter Fonda. You can't escape the Satanists, no matter              how long or far you run (or drive)! It was OK, a bit weird and somewhat comical. 
             Psycho II – 4 skulls – The best of the night. A sequel made over 20 years after the                          original. Most definitely an "underrated sequel". Was fun and pretty dang good. 
             The Funhouse – 3.5 skulls – Maybe a lesser well known Tobe Hooper scare. The only of                the 4 I had previously seen and I still enjoyed it. 
             Burial Ground – 3 skulls – "Bat shit crazy Italian gutmuncher" is an appropriate descriptor              for this movie. This was insane. And being the last of the 4 made it even that much more                  insane (because watching it at around 4am after sitting through 3 other movies).    

16 – Ghost concert – After 4 movies in one night, took a break to see one of my favorite bands! 

17 – Southbound – 2.5 skulls – Another anthology film with the stories all tied together in some way. Really enjoyed a couple of the stories but overall was nothing to get that excited about. 

18 – The Psychic – 3.5 skulls – Watched based on recommendation from a friend. Was not disappointed. 

19 – He Never Died – 3.5 skulls – Henry Rollins. 'Nough said.

20 – Special Presentation of "new" Rocky Horror Picture Show on FOX – 1.5 skulls – I had to give it a shot but I just, I don't even know why I watched the whole thing. I do love Laverne Cox and even was happy to see Tim Curry stepping into the role of the Criminologist/Narrator. But it just, no. Bad. No more words for how much I did not like this.  

21 – The Corpse Grinders – 2 skulls – Cat food made with corpses! I fell asleep, tried to watch again and fell asleep again. Not worth it. 

22 – Open Grave – 2 skulls – I wanted to like it because I love Sharlto Copley but it just wasn't very good.   

23 – Stake Land – 3 skulls – Decent vampire fare. Saw recently that there is a sequel, might give that one a try this year. 

24 – Monsters – 3.5 skulls – A good science-fiction/monster flick. Some good subtle social commentary in it as well.     

25 – Baskin – 3.5 skulls – I still feel fucked up after watching this movie. I liked it, but damn. Just writing this snippet about it is fucking with me. And it really wasn't terribly more shocking than other movies I've watched, but it just got to me in a fucked up way.   

26 – Goosebumps – 2 skulls – As an avid Goosebumps reader in my younger days, I had to watch this. It was OK.   

27 – Poltergeist - 2.5 skulls – I try my darndest to give remakes a shot and some are actually decent (Rob Zombie's Halloween for one, honestly). But I just wasn't feeling this one.

28 – Stung - 3 skulls –The only note I have on this one is that I gave it 3 skulls because of the practical effects. Seriously, a good way to win me over is the use of practical effects. Especially for "newer" films to use practical effects over CGI (or a combination of the two). 

29 – We Are What We Are – 3.5 skulls – A cannibalistic family drama. Decent. 

30 – The Houses October Built – 2 skulls – Haunted houses, the kind you go to to be scared, that are a little more "serious". I liked the premise, but poor execution.

31 – Ghostbusters – 3.5 skulls – Despite what the critics and even die hard original Ghostbusters fans have said about this movie, I really liked this. I wouldn't go as far as saying it was better than the original, but honestly having four female leads, and three in scientific fields, was pretty dang great. Yay for progress, I guess, yay! I also just fucking LOVED Kate McKinnon as Holtzmann. (I admit I have an Abby Yates Funko Pop! toy on my desk at work but every time I look at it I wish it was Holtzmann. Shhhh, don't tell Abby).  

Welp that's it for last year's movies. We've got about a week until the feast-ivities begin. AGGGGGHHHH! I can't wait!    

Horror-tober 10: Maggie

Arnold? In a zombie movie?! Yes, please! But be warned it is not an action-packed one, more of a drama.

Post-zombie outbreak, a father goes to find his daughter at a hospital. She has been infected, the process takes awhile and she will live with her family until the infection takes over and her family takes her to be "put down" for lack of a better word.

Even though it was not your typical gore-fest zombie movie, I did enjoy this one. I watched a film called The Returned two years ago and feel this one has some similar thematic elements although not quite as good. The film is dreary, both visually and because of the plot. In a way it is also more of a character study and reflection of how someone will do anything for a loved one even when it feels like all hope is lost. It moves slowly through the story, which works, and Schwarzenegger plays the concerned and loving father well. It was also interesting to see Abigail Breslin (Little Miss Sunshine, Zombieland) in a film as a young adult, not that she hasn't been in other films since Sunshine or Zombieland but more that I haven't really been paying that much attention. All in all, a decent moody and dramatic film with a zombie element although a bit simplistic.  

Horror-tober 3: Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse

Zombday is usually my favorite day but I think next year I might have to change the classification of this day because I am running out of new zombie movies to watch, or at least there are less that pique my interest. We'll see.

The Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse is a gory tale of friendship and survival with sophmoric and raunchy humor. Longtime friends are coming to terms with growing up and feeling like they are "uncool" for being teenage scouts. When the zombie apocalypse breaks out, they realize they need to stick together because they have the skills to survive and save the town.

I think if I had seen this as a teenager or just as a 13 year-old boy I might have enjoyed it more. From start to finish the movie was a zombie gore fest with lots of references to boobs and sex. Sort of like watching a terrible version of Superbad (or something similar) with zombies. It was boring and stupid, but it did have zombie cats, I liked that. More zombie cats please and less zombie boobs! Oh, and more zombies singing Britney Spears. In fact, I want a whole troop of zombies singing and dancing to "Toxic" or "Work Bitch". I would watch that. I was also disappointed that Blake Anderson (Blake from Workaholics) was in the film so briefly. The truth is, this is my second time watching this (first time was outside of Horror-tober earlier this year) and I did not enjoy it anymore than the first. In fact, I think I enjoyed it less which doesn't happen very often.

Joey and I agree on a rating for this one:

Horror-tober 19: Zombie Shorts and GWAR!

Did another day of short horror movies, but had a good excuse for not watching a full-length feature this evening because... GWAR! More on that later, for now, zombie shorts! Unsurprisingly there are a lot of zombie short films.

Waterborne is a short from Australia about zombie kangaroos, or as I like to call them zombaroos. Animal zombie movies are not often executed in a serious way (Zombeavers). Well, neither is this one really, but it is done well enough that it honestly is a bit creepy. I remembered watching this one recently and felt like starting the shorts off with something familiar. It sets the tone well and even the zombaroo effects are pretty well done.

Dark Times 

Bite Me. Found out after I watched this one that it is actually a full web series. It even has more than one season. But I watched it by itself and have to judge it as such. I included the link to the first full season as well because maybe it is good, but the first episode didn't really draw me in like I wanted it to so I may or may not watch the season.

Play Dead

It has been a lifetime goal of mine to see GWAR perform live. Not a lofty one because they tour constantly, but it has been fulfilled. Although I really missed the GWAR of my teen years with Oderus Ungurus' (Dave Brockie) recent passing, the new lead Blothar fits into the role well and did a spectacular job.

Horror-tober 12: Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead

This one kind of slipped under my radar, until NOW! I really couldn't pass up a movie with the tagline, "Mad Max meets Dawn of the Dead."

Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead takes place in Australia. It starts off with some survivors telling their stories of how they got to the present. One story is kind of amusing. Benny was with his brothers on a camping trip and woke up to find them gone. When he found one of his brothers he was changed and start coming after him. He just turned around and started walking away and they walked like that for awhile. Him just walking, and his brother just slowly following behind. The second story though launches into the main outbreak, and is a little more serious and sad. But after that it is a funny and gory romp through the rest of the film.

Benny being followed by his undead brother

I particularly liked this one because it took the zombie genre and then reinvented some of the tropes that really worked for the movie. First off, the zombies are slow, but only during the day. It turns out that in their decomposed state they are producing a foul fuel that they burn off during the day, but use at night to be a lot more quick and deadly. Basically, nocturnal gas-producing zombies. It works in the survivors favors as for some reason all fuel has become useless, and they discover they can use the zombies during the day to fuel their vehicles. Also, people appear to be infected just by breathing the air, but some are and some are not. It doesn't really explain why this is until later and doesn't totally make sense, but again, it works for main story.

Suit up

Also, we have a couple of main characters but in a way, the two primary characters are Barry and Brooke, brother and sister. Barry is looking for his sister after the apocalypse starts, but he is unaware that she has been abducted by some military looking guys and a psychopathic doctor. He is apparently doing some weird experiment where he takes zombie blood from some specimens he keeps chained up and injects it into survivors, like Brooke, that he also has chained in his weird and bloody little laboratory. Aside from the description stating that the doctor is the one who turned people into zombies, it is not really apparent how he was responsible, except for maybe something to do with a chemical he released in the air.

The mad doctor is in 

Brooke continues to survive after she has zombie blood injected into her many times, but, something in her brain reacts with that blood and allows her to control the zombies. It is a pretty silly premise, but again, it really works for the film. Also, was pretty cool to have a bad ass female lead even if it isn't till half the film is over that she obtains her power. It had really good kill scenes and as I said before was pretty funny and fun. I like that it has its own telling of how the zombies came to be, even if it still was a little unclear. But also that it has its own take on the zombie. It also had some striking visuals and indeed had some aesthetics in the design of the costumes and vehicles that felt like watching Mad Max or The Road Warrior with a zombie twist. Joey gives it 3.5 skulls because he wished that it had been even more ridiculous than it was, because he is silly like that.

My rating:

Joey's rating:

Horror-tober 5: Dead Snow: Red vs. Dead

I really liked the original Dead Snow movie. And although it was not as good as the first, this sequel did not disappoint.

Dead Snow: Red vs. Dead seamlessly begins from the end of the first movie. After Martin (Vega Hoel) realizes he still has a coin from the Nazi's treasure in his pocket (the reason why they came back in the first movie) he is attacked by the Nazi commander Oberst Herzog. He narrowly escapes, but ends up in the hospital after he crashes his car. He is detained in the hospital because the police force believes he is responsible for the death of his friends (again, from the earlier movie). He also discovers that they have reattached his arm only it isn't his, but Herzog's which was amputated and found in the car with Martin after his escape. And no surprise, the arm reacts to the living in a violent way. But Martin discovers he can control it and it has a unique power of its own. The Nazi battalion is found to still be wreaking havoc as they are on the march to a small coastal town to complete the mission they were on before their deaths. Martin enlists the help of some nerdy Americans that call themselves the Zombie Squad (including an appearance by Martin Starr of Freaks and Geeks and Party Down fame) and another resurrected undead army that want revenge on Herzog and his crew (the Red, hint hint).

Getting his picture taken with his first zombie kill

I would say that this one wasn't as good as the first, but it really held its own with similar themes but way more slap-sticky and akin to early Peter Jackson (Brain Dead). It also did not let down on the gore and splatter reminiscent of the first film. This movie had me laughing the whole way through and was a pretty cohesive and entertaining story. Some of the subtleties of the humor were also so well executed that I give this one 4.5 skulls. Sorry there aren't more details, I find that I have less and less time to write these, but I am doing the best I can!

My rating:

Night of the Creeps

Finally, it's Zombday! But since there aren't many zombie flicks on my list this year, I decided to go with one that could be classified as "wacky".

This film plays with all sorts of horror genres. It has a bit of the science fiction genre, aliens running around on a ship and accidentally releasing brain eating slugs on Earth. It obviously has comedy horror, as I said before it would have been appropriate for a Wacky Wednesday. It has slasher horror with an ax wielding maniac and zombie horror because the aforementioned brain eating slugs turn the living and dead into zombies with the sole purpose of producing more brain eating slugs. It is sort of an homage to films that have come before it but also in a weird class of its own. It fits into the "80s horror" sub-sub genre. I kind of made that up but I think it is a valid classification since so many horror movies made in the '80s are quite unlike many today. Meaning they mostly have similar subject matter and execution characteristic of the era, maybe it is possible a lot of the "teen screams," "gore horror," and "horror-comedies" came out of this decade? I am just speculating, but I enjoy a lot of movies from this time, in fact many are considered classics (Nightmare on Elm Street), and feel they need to have their own grouping. 

Odd looking alien with a vial of brain eating slugs

Brad, did you do something different with your hair?

Night of the Creeps had some good practical effects and some wonderfully cheesy acting and story-line. I know I have complained about bad acting before (You're Next) but when it is intentional or just so bad that it is funny, then it is more acceptable. It surprises me that I had missed this one for so many years because I quite liked it and it fits with so many of the others that I continue to enjoy. However, it wasn't mind-blowingly good, worth a watch but not more than once. 

My rating:

Warm Bodies

Another more recent zombie movie for Zombday and sadly another bit of a disappointment. 

I am all for re-inventing genres and pushing for something new and original. But I really did not like how this one tried to do that. Aside from having John Malkovich and Rob Corddry and seeing Nicholas Hoult (About a Boy) all grown-up, this one was kind of a flop for me. I liked it more than Zombieland which is whatever. And it is still a better love story than Twilight as they say.

I wish he had shot that zombie in the head, would have been a better movie

I fundamentally had problems with ideas presented in this, and as much as I tried I couldn't get past some of them. Why are ALL of "The Boneys" so tall? Not every person that died, became a zombie and then became a boney, was 7' tall. How is it possible for a zombie to obtain memories and emotions from eating a human brain if it is dead and essentially has no working synapses that could, if somehow that was even ever possible in living tissue, trigger such a response? I mean, you can't really try to delve into the science of zombies since there are so many unrealistic aspects (why do they need to eat brains, or are able to hear, see and smell if they are dead), but really? My main issue though - a zombie cannot, I repeat CANNOT come back to life! No way, no how. No matter, how you try to explain that, "it was love that prevailed and cured the world," it just doesn't work. The dead come back to life, but you cannot bring the undead back to life. Phooey. It was cute and funny here and there, whatever, but no. Just no. In my opinion Land of the Dead did a better job showcasing the idea of "intelligent zombies" or zombies trying to live like humans. Maybe if I was still a teenager I would have liked this, but I sort of doubt it. The Crow was the "love never dies" of my generation, and it was and is still better than this. Sorry for the rant, if you liked this movie, I'm not sorry but to each his own. 

    

I'm a zombie and I love you, blegh

I realize that it is based off of a novel and it might be better, and I guess it's like a modern-day Romeo & Juliet, but still no. I read something a few years ago that was similar called Breathers. More of a love story between two zombies, than a zombie and a human, but it was pretty decent. Although, I sadly just read it is also being adapted into a movie. Great. I want there to be a zombie movie that returns to it's Haitian and voodoo roots.

I think hell has frozen over, because this is the third movie Joey has watched with me since the start of this. I might need to make sure he isn't a body snatcher or something.  

My rating:

Joey's rating: 

Resident Evil: Retribution

I didn't learn my lesson. Another made for 3D and a sore disappointment for Zombday, but I only have myself to blame.

I am a fan of the video game and movie franchise, but the last one was really bad. I thought I would give this one a chance to redeem itself, but I dare say this one may have been even worse. Of course, they also leave with a definite sequel. As much as I hate to say it, I will probably watch that one too, just because I have a desperate need for closure on this goddamn series for some reason!

Too many leather unitards, too many slow motion action sequences and blah script round out this installment. They introduce new characters, Leon Kennedy and Ada Wong without any characterization, mostly just to give a shout out to the video games I think. Three characters from the first and second movie are brought back for essentially nothing. Although it was kind of nice to see Michelle Rodriguez in it again. And the Red Queen terrorizes Alice yet again. This one is not worth watching folks, and I am sad I wasted my time with it, so the review is short to prevent wasting more time on it.

Milla in a unitard

Sienna Guillory in a unitard and three familiar faces

They also introduced a flying monster at the end, which to me looked a lot like one of the flying Zergs from Starcraft. But I guess these creatures have been featured in some of the games.

 Flying Resident Evil monster 

 Starcraft Zerg or Mutalisk

That evening I also saw This is the End with my boyfriend. So my real lesson is I should have just stuck with that one to write a review for, even though it wasn't truly "zombie." (P.S. It was alright - would be a 2.5 skull maybe. It had good moments but the humor was just too much like it was written for 12-year old boys.)

My rating: