Horror-tober 7: Return to the House on Haunted Hill

I'm not afraid to admit that I like the remake of The House on Haunted Hill from 1999. But it is also no surprise that this sequel is not that great. Shortly after the suspicious death of her sister (Sarah, a survivor from the massacre at the mansion), Ariel, receives a mysterious journal of a Dr. Vannacut that speaks about a Baphomet idol with supernatural powers. An archaeology professor helps Ariel translate the journal and he ends up going to the mansion with some students in search of the idol. Some thugs that may be responsible for Sarah's death kidnap her and her boyfriend and they force them into helping find the idol. Anyhow, of course the house traps them in and kills off a bunch of people until only two are left behind. Honestly, the idol aspect for the existence of the ghosts was pretty hoaky. The acting was dull, although I was sort of excited to see Andrew Lee Potts from the UK TV Show Primeval in this but of course he is not one of our survivors. Really the best part about this movie was Jeffrey Combs returning as the ghost of the doctor. He didn't say a word but he was perfect. The rest of the movie sucked but provided some unrealistic but memorable and gruesome death scenes.

Yep, because this is what happens when you are pulled apart.

My rating:

Horror-tober 6: Black Night (Hak yae)

An international horror anthology with stories from three different countries. First was Next Door, a ghost story from China. A young girl returns to her former lover during the "ghost festival". The couple are haunted by something and discover that their neighbor, which the girl's lover was dating, drowned in her tub. A decent ghost story with some good hair-raising moments and jump scares.

After that tale came, Dark Hole, a monster/psychological thriller from Japan. Yuki has been suffering from nightmares which seem to be the ghosts of her past. She begins seeing a psychiatrist and tells the story of her "pet", some unknown creature, that she describes was responsible for some horrific accidents and deaths when she was a child. Her psychiatrist believes she has created this "pet" as a way to lock up the truth that she is a murderer. Will her fiance believe her or the psychiatrist? This one was a fun guessing game. Is she really a killer or not? Will she kill again since the psychiatrist has unlocked her secrets? Will her fiance confront her? Is the creature real? Definitely a bit of a roller coaster of a tale but slow build with a so-so plot.

Lastly was The Lost Memory, a ghost story from Thailand. A single mother is being followed by a shadowy figure.She appears to have amnesia or something and continues to get phone calls from a friend, telling her to remember the accident, to not blame herself, and asks for forgiveness. She begins to remember her friendship with this person and her supposedly ex-husband. But the memories become clearer and she is reminded that her son died in a car accident. She is haunted by her suppressed memories of the accident and the events leading up to it, but her ghostly son is not just a haunting memory. He wants to be with his mommy. I felt this one was a bit confusing early on but once it clicked what was happening, nobody acknowledged her son, the rest of it was predictable and forgettable.

All in all I liked the first story but the other two were not very interesting and pretty forgettable.

My rating:

Horror-tober 5: Bride of the Monster

Bela Lugosi is one of the kings of early horror films. I wanted to like this one but it didn't seem to have the substance of other Lugosi titles, such as Dracula and White Zombie. I admit that I wasn't 100% paying attention throughout most of the movie, but was for the first half and the plot was just hard to follow and was pretty hoaky.

A victim for the mutated octopus monster

Scientist, Dr. Eric Vornoff, wants to create a superhuman race using nuclear energy. His only success so far has been his assistant, Lobo, who has gained superhuman strength. Oh, and he has a mutated octopus (the monster) guarding his house/laboratory. Because every villain needs a vicious pet, I guess. When journalist, Janet Lawton (the bride) comes to the house she is captured by Vornoff and he schemes to turn her into a nucleated superhuman. Her cop fiancee, Lt. Dick Craig, comes to rescue her but he is captured too. So it is up to Lobo to step in to help them. He straps Vornoff to his own contraption but then Vornoff escapes and is chased around outside by the cops. Who are apparently horrible shots because I'm pretty sure they never hit him but they shot at him a lot or Vornoff gained some superhuman power himself.

A LOT.

In the end, he falls into the pool with the octopus and is attacked and killed by the monster. I guess when you break it down like that it is not hard to follow the plot. But Vornoff didn't seem to have a clear motive for creating an army of superhuman and the monster seemed a little out of place other than a means to draw attention to Vornoff's lab and to be his demise at the end. I mean come on, who wouldn't notice a giant, scary octopus in likely some kind of moat around some creepy house? Also, at some point Vornoff hypnotizes Janet to bring her into the lab but that seemed out of character for a mad scientist and likely the creators were just using the same "schitck" because... Bela Lugosi. I would say not among Lugosi's best but an OK one to watch especially because it is short.

My rating:

Horror-tober 4: Cooties

"Circle, circle, dot, dot, now you've got a cootie shot." When a contaminated chicken nugget sparks the child zombie apocalypse, a group of teachers fight and outwit the little monsters to survive.

I have wanted to watch this one for some time. Written by the creator of the Saw franchise, Leigh Whannell, and writer for Glee, Ian Brennan. Hence this one has a demented plot but with a pleasantly dark comedic twist that you could expect from the minds of these two. Plus, the production company which Elijah Wood is a co-founder of, Spectrevision, has some other great movies to their credit, namely A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night. So I had fairly high hopes for this one.

With this as one of the opening shots, how could you not want to watch what happens?

A zombie outbreak where only children are turned into flesh-eating monsters, because children are creepy (The Omen and Children of the Corn to name a few) but relentless killing zombie children are also pretty dang creepy. I guess where the title comes from is in the narrative, the outbreak only affects pre-pubescent children. Because I guess when you hit puberty you don't have cooties anymore or vice versa?

Anyway, Cooties also has a pretty fantastic comedic cast, Jack McBrayer, Rainn Wilson, and Nasim Pedrad. Elijah Wood as Clint was also much more enjoyable and believable than his go as the psycho in Maniac. I mean it is really hard for me to see him as anything but a sort of nerdy character anyway. Although this wasn't as enjoyable as some other dark horror comedies, such as Shaun of the Dead, it had some good laugh out loud moments and plenty of gross out scenes as well. The gore definitely fit in with some other zombie flicks with tons of gut-ripping and blood-gushing and some disturbing scenes with kids playing marbles with eyeballs and jump rope with intestines among other gory recess games. 

My rating:

Horror-tober 3: Army of Darkness

A more comedic (if that is possible) and action-packed movie from The Evil Dead franchise, Army of Darkness follows lead badass Ash into medieval England where he must fight the army of the dead to return to the present.

B-Movie Bingo hosted by Wolf Choir is among some of Hollywood Theatre's recurring special events that I really enjoy. Occurring on the first Tuesday of every month, it is an experience, filled with video pizza, prizes, and more! I haven't been in over a year but when I saw that they were showing Army of Darkness, I had to go. I even mentioned B-Movie Bingo in 2014 for my review of Dead Heat.

If you have not been to B-Movie Bingo, I suggest checking it out. The squares are hilarious action cliches such as, "smashed through window", "beefcake", "crash and burn", "impaled", "rolling head", "deformed villain", "lone wolf attitude", "awesome tuck and roll", and more. And the best of all the "Blank Square!" in the middle of the board. No, the "Blank Square!" is not a free space, it is so much more than that. There are some rules with the "Blank Square!": 1) it has to be something so awesome it deserves a space on the board but there isn't one, 2) it has to be something you will not see in any other movie, and 3) honestly just something really bizarre. Many people really get into it because it's a lot of fun to go and participate. And prizes! PRIZES!

A classic, and turns out a great one for B-Movie Bingo (it was sold out and the first bingo happened within maybe 15 minutes), Army is a machismo romp with laughs, gore galore, and a charm all its own. From cheesy lines and wonderfully cheesy but very practical special effects, this one has a special place in my heart. Evil Dead 2 is still my favorite of the franchise but Army is quite a bit more lighthearted and slapsticky. A few scenes feel like watching some old Three Stooges episodes, with Ash's "mini-mes", the slapping dance with his evil self, and his battle with the rising army of the dead. Army is definitely the most iconic of the Dead franchise, with lines like, "This... is my boomstick!" and "gimme some sugar baby." It is always fun to watch this one, and even more so when enjoying it with fellow fans for a great event. Oh, and we won the third place prize! I've only ever won candy after the main prizes, and never the grand prize, so that was pretty exciting!

I said we were going to win the cat prize, and we did! 

My rating:

Joey's rating:

Horror-tober 2: Melvin

Three years after horror-nerd Melvin is killed by some school bullies he comes back, and with the involuntary help of Norton Pinkus, he gets revenge on the bullies and all those that did him wrong in high school.

Even though a friend of mine stars and was involved in the production of this film, it took me awhile to get it on the list. Now it is available on Amazon Prime streaming and can be rented through the digital streaming service, Hoopla, which I have raved about in previous posts.

Melvin is a zombie comedy flick from the independent Oregon production company, 531 Productions. It satisfies the classic zombie itch but does break some "rules". Mainly, Norton is bitten by Melvin when he comes back, but Norton does not become a mindless, flesh-eating zombie right away. In fact, like a werewolf, Norton only becomes a zombie at night, minus the full moon. 

This whole scene was my favorite and the funniest in the movie.

The production quality isn't great (531's more recent productions are quite a bit better), but it is a lot of fun. Especially when the zombie action starts. The gore and makeup effects are actually impressive. Plus, Lloyd Kaufman of Troma Entertainment, has an awesome cameo in this as an actor in the Night of the Driller horror movie. The full trailer of which 531 Productions includes during the end credits. It is a great homage to horror movie trailers of the 70s and 80s.

Actually, I feel like there may be some Troma influence in the thematic elements of Melvin. When the prank the bullies pull on Melvin goes wrong they make it look like he was kidnapped and raped which is a bit messed up, especially how they pull it off. Not exactly Troma-esque but there is a taste of grotesque and disturbing there. In the end, we get the gruesome and satisfying deaths of the three main bullies and Norton finds true love in the afterlife.

Death by mop

MORTAL KOMBAT! 

This movie had my father-in-law in stitches even though he only gave it 2.5 skulls for "some good jokes." Overall, I liked it because it is short and silly with all the carnage and gore you could hope for in a zombie film. 

Michael's rating:

Aimee's rating:

Joey's and my rating:

Horror-tober 1: The Blackcoat's Daughter

At a boarding school before winter break, two young women are left behind to wait for their parents to arrive, if they ever will. However, they are not alone. A disturbing evil resides in the halls. Will they survive until their parents come? Or will they be overcome by the darkness inside?

So the in-laws were in town for the beginning of Horrotober this year. Luckily it was easy to convince them to watch a couple of movies with us. However, instead of wanting to watch my planned Lights Out ("too scary"), they chose this one. The Blackcoat's Daughter tells a story about two young women at the Bramford School for girls left to spend winter break at the school because their parents did not arrive to take them home. Katherine (Kat; Kiernan Shipka) has a disturbing dream where she stands by a dark figure she calls "daddy" looking at a smashed up car. Rose (Lucy Boynton) is an angsty teen that discovers she may be pregnant and when she talks to her boyfriend about it, he seems to reject her. Rose and Kat don't really get along but when Kat finds Rose in the boiler room talking to the furnace, she is scared for Kat, herself, and those who remain at the school. It is not clear if some evil or the devil possesses Kat, but something at Bramford is quite wrong. Oh and then throw Joan (Emma Roberts) into the mix, a young woman that appears down on her luck and hitches a ride with some strangers. What is Joan's story? Is it connected? Who are the strangers that she rides with? Will they arrive at Bramford and Joan will be trapped with Kat, Rose, and the evil at the school? (see below for spoilers to those answers) The film had a creepy atmosphere with some great sound editing and score, pretty good acting from all three of the leading ladies, and a fairly intriguing story written and directed by the son of Psycho (Anthony Perkins' son, Oz Perkins).

SPOILERS: Once some key information is supplied (the strangers are Rose's parents) it becomes clear that Joan is actually Kat escaped from some hospital. Kat was maybe possessed by the devil and killed Rose along with the two workers that stayed with the girls at the school. Later she is found with their severed heads in front of the furnace and is shot by an officer after she nonchalantly says,"Hail Satan." At a hospital, the head priest of the school attempts to exorcise the devil out of Kat and when the not so terrifying devil or bunny shadow disappears, Kat whispers, "Don't go." So back to Joan, now that we know she is Kat, she is travelling with Rose's parents and then kills them before they reach Bramford, severing their heads and stuffing them into a suitcase to then drag it back to the school. When she lays the heads in front of the furnace and sees that it is not on, and does not come on with her sacrifice, she realizes she is truly alone.

I liked that the movie was very atmospheric, a bit gruesome, and a little bit more of a psychological drama with Kat/Joan. Some dark force may have preyed on Kat when she had a premonition of her parents' deaths and felt alone but it is almost as if she became attached to that presence. She is sad when it leaves her and when she returns and brings the severed heads, she is hoping the presence returns. When it doesn't, she screams in agony because maybe the loss of her parents and the reality of the horrendous acts she has committed under the guise of the devil, finally hits her. However, some aspects of the film bothered me. Like, what really are the chances that she would encounter Rose's parents after she escaped the hospital? Did she plan it, and if she was trapped in the hospital how would she have known they would be on a certain route to Bramford to lay flowers on their daughter's grave? Or was it more of she really wanted to escape it all but upon learning they were Rose's parents the memories returned and motivated her to return to Bramford and bring back the devil? Or were they merely used in the plot to make it more mysterious and seem that Joan at first was a different character from Kat? Either way, the predictability of Kat/Joan and the use of Rose's parents cheapened an otherwise nearly perfect story for me and hence I gave it a lower rating.

Aimee's rating:

Michael's and Joey's rating:

My rating:

Five Years, Seriously?!

I've been doing this for five years?! And I still haven't finished a whole month of blogs? Well, maybe this year we will get through all the reviews. 

Anyway, I am pretty excited about this year as there are quite a few new releases I've been meaning to watch from the last few years and I intend to include most of them on the list. I have watched a few horror movies already this year (Shhhhh, it's our little secret) and may also include some of those as special features. Lately though, I've been thinking about changing up the categories a bit. Especially because we have lost a few greats in the world of horror this year (George A. Romero and Tobe Hopper among them) and I've been thinking of featuring more of their movies this year in honor but don't really want to try to "fit" them into some category. In all honesty, I am running out of zombie movies and there are only so many new schlocky ones I can take. If you have any suggestions, I am all ears. For now, same old categories below.

            Supernatural Sunday A day to fit ghosts, witches, vampires, and anything otherworldly 

            that doesn’t necessarily fall into any of the other categories.

            Zombday In a zombie apocalypse, these slow-shuffling, brain-loving undead take over the 

            world. In Horror-tober, they take over a day. BRAAAAAAINS!

            Transcontinental Tuesday Foreign films. Japan, Korea, Spain, even Canada – wherever 

            offers up a good old scary story for viewing pleasure.

            Wacky Wednesday The fun and lighthearted. The funny and dark. The campy. Or the 

            animated and weird. Just plain "wacky". 

            Throwback Thursday Those classics I love or new favorites I want to watch again.

            Creature-Feature Friday For all things monster and creepy-crawly. 

            Slasher Saturday Slashers, thrillers, home invasions, torture porn, body horror, et al.

Again, I did not finish last year’s posts. However, I kind of like doing these breakdowns of the ratings from the previous year now. It's nice to remind myself of all the great, OK, and terrible movies I subject myself to in the span of a single month. 
   

1 – Holidays – 2.5 skulls – Creepy vignettes about various holidays. Was mostly OK.

2 – We Are Still Here – 3 skulls – Good haunted house vibes and throwback to horror movies of the 70s.  

3 – Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse – 1.5 skulls – Just too juvenile for my tastes. 

4 – Onibaba – 4 skulls – Superb storytelling and cinematography in this classic.

5 – Extraordinary Tales – 3 skulls – Different Poe stories animated in varying styles. Was decent. 

6 – The Babadook – 4 skulls – Psychological horror and family drama. Creepy as hell and good for a rewatch. BABA DOOK DOOK DOOOOOOK! 

7 – Grizzly – 3.5 skulls – Ridiculous prehistoric grizzly bear attacks and hunky men of the 70s. Worth it.

8 – Hush – 4 skulls – Definitely my favorite of the new ones for 2016. A nice twist on home invasion thrillers and well worth the watch. 

9 – Supernatural Shorts:

Foxes – 3.5 skulls – I love foxes, but they definitely have a blood-curdling scream.

Don't Move – 4 skulls – Delightfully gory and kind of funny. 

Teddy Bears are for Lovers – 4 skulls – Also delightfully funny. 

Geist – 3.5 skulls – Animated ghost story that was kind of heartbreaking.
             Red Girl – 2.5 skulls – Really short, OK. 
             Daddy – 2 skulls – Don't remember too much but that it was OK.
             Abandoned – 2.5 skulls – I gave this one an extra .5 skull compared to Daddy because I                was not expecting the ending. Otherwise OK.
             Coffer – 3.5 skulls – From the same director of the Lights Out short from last year. Good,              but not as good. 
             The Wicked – 2.5 skulls – Liked the single frame shot throughout, but meh.
             The Pride of Strathmoor – 3 skulls – Animated, decent but fairly disturbing.    

10 – Maggie – 3 skulls – Arnold zombie drama. Not too bad.

11 – Witching and Bitching – 3.5 skulls – Raucous and ridiculous and loved it. 

12 – The Voices – 3 skulls – Ryan Reynolds shines as a weirdo hearing voices (his pets talk to him, but not really. Because voices).
The Neon Dead – 1.5 skulls – Was the one I had originally planned to watch this night but it was so bad I had to fast forward and then watched The Voices.

13 – 2001 Maniacs – 3 skulls – Robert Englund. Cannibalistic, redneck/hillbilly/confederate ghosts? Need I say more? 

14 – Hobgoblins – 1.5 skulls – Best scene was the band playing at the bar. Literally almost 6 minutes (I could be exaggerating) of just the band playing and people dancing. 

15 – Special 4 Movie Feature at Hollywood Theatre – 4 movies. 1 night. Friends. Beer. Coffee. Rad.
             Race with the Devil – 2.5 skulls – Peter Fonda. You can't escape the Satanists, no matter              how long or far you run (or drive)! It was OK, a bit weird and somewhat comical. 
             Psycho II – 4 skulls – The best of the night. A sequel made over 20 years after the                          original. Most definitely an "underrated sequel". Was fun and pretty dang good. 
             The Funhouse – 3.5 skulls – Maybe a lesser well known Tobe Hooper scare. The only of                the 4 I had previously seen and I still enjoyed it. 
             Burial Ground – 3 skulls – "Bat shit crazy Italian gutmuncher" is an appropriate descriptor              for this movie. This was insane. And being the last of the 4 made it even that much more                  insane (because watching it at around 4am after sitting through 3 other movies).    

16 – Ghost concert – After 4 movies in one night, took a break to see one of my favorite bands! 

17 – Southbound – 2.5 skulls – Another anthology film with the stories all tied together in some way. Really enjoyed a couple of the stories but overall was nothing to get that excited about. 

18 – The Psychic – 3.5 skulls – Watched based on recommendation from a friend. Was not disappointed. 

19 – He Never Died – 3.5 skulls – Henry Rollins. 'Nough said.

20 – Special Presentation of "new" Rocky Horror Picture Show on FOX – 1.5 skulls – I had to give it a shot but I just, I don't even know why I watched the whole thing. I do love Laverne Cox and even was happy to see Tim Curry stepping into the role of the Criminologist/Narrator. But it just, no. Bad. No more words for how much I did not like this.  

21 – The Corpse Grinders – 2 skulls – Cat food made with corpses! I fell asleep, tried to watch again and fell asleep again. Not worth it. 

22 – Open Grave – 2 skulls – I wanted to like it because I love Sharlto Copley but it just wasn't very good.   

23 – Stake Land – 3 skulls – Decent vampire fare. Saw recently that there is a sequel, might give that one a try this year. 

24 – Monsters – 3.5 skulls – A good science-fiction/monster flick. Some good subtle social commentary in it as well.     

25 – Baskin – 3.5 skulls – I still feel fucked up after watching this movie. I liked it, but damn. Just writing this snippet about it is fucking with me. And it really wasn't terribly more shocking than other movies I've watched, but it just got to me in a fucked up way.   

26 – Goosebumps – 2 skulls – As an avid Goosebumps reader in my younger days, I had to watch this. It was OK.   

27 – Poltergeist - 2.5 skulls – I try my darndest to give remakes a shot and some are actually decent (Rob Zombie's Halloween for one, honestly). But I just wasn't feeling this one.

28 – Stung - 3 skulls –The only note I have on this one is that I gave it 3 skulls because of the practical effects. Seriously, a good way to win me over is the use of practical effects. Especially for "newer" films to use practical effects over CGI (or a combination of the two). 

29 – We Are What We Are – 3.5 skulls – A cannibalistic family drama. Decent. 

30 – The Houses October Built – 2 skulls – Haunted houses, the kind you go to to be scared, that are a little more "serious". I liked the premise, but poor execution.

31 – Ghostbusters – 3.5 skulls – Despite what the critics and even die hard original Ghostbusters fans have said about this movie, I really liked this. I wouldn't go as far as saying it was better than the original, but honestly having four female leads, and three in scientific fields, was pretty dang great. Yay for progress, I guess, yay! I also just fucking LOVED Kate McKinnon as Holtzmann. (I admit I have an Abby Yates Funko Pop! toy on my desk at work but every time I look at it I wish it was Holtzmann. Shhhh, don't tell Abby).  

Welp that's it for last year's movies. We've got about a week until the feast-ivities begin. AGGGGGHHHH! I can't wait!